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Infidelity
Dr. Don-David Lusterman
Clinical Psychologist
Couples
Family
Therapy
© Copyright 2003-05 Don-David Lusterman, Ph.D. |
Infidelity: A Survival
Guide Table of Contents Acknowledgments Introduction The Shock of Discovery Defining Infidelity - The Moment of Discovery - Denial - Sometimes There Is No Answer - Compartmentalization - Types of Infidelity - Trauma - Is the Relationship Over? Why Did It Happen? Not All Involvements Are the Same - Are Men's and Women's Extramarital Involvements Different? - The Life Crisis Theory - Mid-Life Crisis - Entitlement - Sexual Addiction and Don Juanism - Exploratory Affairs - Tripod Affairs - Retaliatory Affairs - Exit Affairs The Affair Triangle Love and Infatuation - Why Warts Are Important - Married Love vs. Affair Love - Lengthy Affairs - The Involved Partner - The Discoverer - The Third Party - A Few Final Words About Affairs Is Divorce Inevitable? The Importance of Time - A Marriage That Improved - Ambivalence - Some Questions to Consider - The Search for Meaning Feelings That Help and Feelings That Hurt Idiot Lights and Negative Feelings - Dealing with Anger - How to Make Emotions Productive - Blaming - Accepting Responsibility Trust Preparing for the Confrontation - The Truth Doesn't Come Out All at Once - When Trust Can't be Restored Surviving Infidelity Affairs: The Phases of Recovery - Other Types of Infidelity - A Healthy Life after Discovery Children What Children Require of Parents - Secrecy and Boundaries - How Secret is Secret? - Secrecy and Loyalty - Burdening Children with Adults' Issues - Involving Children with the Third Party - How Are Children Affected? - Secrecy vs. Privacy - When to Speak to Your Children - What to Expect When You Talk to Your Children Family and Friends Family - Friends Is It Always Best to Tell? Telling When Asked - Telling When Not Asked - The Dangers of "One Size Fits All" - Dangerous Mates-A Special Case - Another Special Case - Recent Infidelities - Sexual Addictions - From Painful to Positive Choosing a Competent Therapist What Is a Therapist? - What Is Family Therapy? - Finding a Therapist - A Phone Meeting - Interviewing the Therapist - How Do Couples Therapists Work? - Clear Procedures - Continuity in Treatment - You Are a Partner with Your Therapist - If Therapy Is Not Going Well Some Final Words References Total of 207 pages |